I am going in for a procedure tomorrow and feeling really scared about it.
but this post is not about that. it is about something that i have suspected for a long time and now feel more convinced about it. that I am genetically modified to feel unhappy. my genes have probably never seen happy days and were doomed from the time the first chain started. :-(
do you think there is something called unhappy genes? i think so. i think my genes certainly are. if i look at from whom these genes have been passed on? uh huh, you got it, they were unhappy souls alright.
i mean among so many people , i have the genius like capability to find out those who are not good enough, and are not worth themselves. From all things that i come across, i can almost immediately pin point those that are wrong, not working well, and then give myself the license to feel melancholy and unhappy. i am so used to being unhappy, that now i am slowly forgetting what it means to feel happy, content, and above all be grateful.
and then every day there are people who are writing about it, going to town with “how to be happy” etc. every time i see one more article about “how to be happy”, i feel terribly unhappy and i want to strangle all those who proclaim to teach you so.
i mean what is wrong with unhappiness? you have the power to not only make yourself grumpy, but have the power to make all the others around you unhappy. does one have similar power to make others happy? one has to do so many things or make humongous efforts to make the others happy … but unhappy? no sir, it does not take much effort at all. you can do it just like that, i mean spread unhappiness like a good (er… bad?) cheer all around in a jiffy!
want a crash course? well, here it is, you just have to sit there, feel bitter and sullen and think about all the things that are going wrong in this world (and with you of course, that goes without saying), and then, complement that with shallow breathing, deep frowns, add a dash of some unhealthy habits (whatever is your fancy), do not smile at any one and not even at the mirror and do not, i repeat do not, connect with others over anything that is remotely cheery. but please connect with others in grumbling about politics, whine about the price rise or your boss, your partner, (best are parents of course), shout a bit higher at the person who is a bit less powerful than you … i mean i can go on and on, but you get the draft?
yes, yes, you got it, i am trying to provide you with a formulae of being absolutely and abjectly unhappy.
try it next time, don’t smile, don’t look a child, don’t breath deeply, better still, don’t have a bath and don’t feel grateful that you are alive!
don’t even bother to thank me or curse me after reading the post for i will not read your comment.
so there. don’t have a great new year and festive season.